Hunting With My 3 Year Old Son – The Day He Became A Man

Yeah, You heard me.

Recently I took the appropriate steps to accelerate my son’s development from Boy to Man by taking him hunting for bears and lions deep in the woods of the South March Highlands of North Kanata.

My son will be 4 years old next week and I felt it was time for him to ditch the toddler act and learn how to be a man. Sure he can tie his** put on his own velcro shoes, do up his seatbelt and even recite the alphabet but it’s time he learned how to provide for his future family.

Obviously, the first step in any successful hunt is to make sure that your weapons of choice are ready for battle. In my experience, for hunting bears and lions, my weapon of choice will always be the sword.

We sharpened our blades, hugged our wives and mommies and headed off for battle! Spirits were high that we would come home with plenty of bear skin for warmth and meat to feed our starving family.

We weren’t sure what to expect upon entering the Highlands but we came across many obstacles on our journey. First was obtaining passage through the Land of the Gnomes. The only entrance is by passing through the Great Tree of Gnomia.

The gnomes demanded a sacrifice so I was forced to give them the last of our rations of TimBits.

The gnomes granted us access but refused to let us photograph them. Trust me, they were real!

We were well into our adventure and had yet to see any bears or lions. I began to worry that my boy would not be entering manhood on this journey and if we could not provide food, who knew how much longer we could survive.

At that moment, we heard a rustling in the bushes and drew our swords! It was the Rock Warriors of the Upper Highlands and they were not happy about our intrusion! I was knocked from my feet, leaving only my son to defend us.

Upon regaining consciousness, I found that my boy had slayed the Rock Soldiers and was proudly displaying his new trophy for me.

He had finally become a man and I couldn’t have been more proud in that moment. I even found myself losing focus at times and luckily had him to remind me where we were.

Unfortunately the journey wasn’t over, as we quickly came face to face with the most deadly creature in all of the highlands!

The Papilionoidea of North Kanata:

Ancient legend states that if the Papilionoidea even senses danger, it can turn you to stone with a single whisper.

I have never been so scared in my life but this was no time to show weakness in front of my boy.

I crept up behind the demon butterfly and in one fell swoop, cut it down with my mighty blade. Then we rushed out of the forest and back to the safety of our home.

While it’s true that we didn’t bring home food for our family, the important thing to note here is that my little boy became a man on this day!

Furthermore, upon hearing of our triumphant battles in the Highlands, the townspeople revolted and declared a new King!

You guessed it!

I hope you enjoyed our adventure. I know there are many more to come, so I hope you stick around to enjoy them with us!

Cheers!!!

**Thanks to Justin at Let’s Make a(nother) Deal! for pointing out my knack for making things up, lol. My 3 year old can kill Rock Warriors but he does not in fact tie his own shoes. Busted!!

38 replies
    • Chris
      Chris says:

      First of all, I love TimBits. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I agree about stopping to play, although my wife may tell you that Daddy stops too play a little too much…..I disagree with her on that assessment!

      Reply
  1. Justin
    Justin says:

    Wait a minute…kids can tie their own shoes before 4? My kid (also a Lucas) is about to hit 5 and he’s still using shoes with velcro. I know that’s not the gist of your story, but now it has me thinking I need to start teaching him something other than the names of every character from the Star Wars and Marvel Comics universes.

    Reply
    • Chris
      Chris says:

      Yes Justin, it’s true that my son is very advanced for a 3 year old….or I wrote the story in a daze and was lying about the laces part and have since corrected the error and credited you for calling me out as the liar that I am!!! I’ll let you figure out which is which, LOL!! Thanks for the comment man, I really appreciate it! For what it’s worth, if your kid can name all those characters, I think you’re on the right track!

      Reply
  2. julie
    julie says:

    This is so fun! Wish I had half your imagination – i think my husband has most of ours- Times are tough and its a good thing your teaching him his hunting skills early in life ;) very cute!

    Reply
  3. Kathy
    Kathy says:

    Awesome story Chris and your mighty warrior Lucas has certainly found his niche. Memories are created with love and imagination and your time with Lucas will be memorable. There are so many things that you can do that don’t cost money but it takes a little thought and creativity which this outing had both.
    Good for you!

    Reply
  4. Positively Pampered Patty
    Positively Pampered Patty says:

    So awesome! We have lots of adventures very similar to yours, but our Direwolf Sooky ( scaredy pup) accompanies us along the way. We have days where we adventure in our cave downstairs ( fort) and it is always fun. Having kids has taught me so much about being just plain happy and that every day we have is in itself an adventure waiting to happen.

    Reply
  5. Whispered Inspirations
    Whispered Inspirations says:

    Looks like you guys had a great adventure! I followed your day on IG, gotta love IG. Must be such a different dynamic with a boy!

    Reply
  6. tommy riles
    tommy riles says:

    Haha… awesome. I love that some of your posts are a combination of reality and make-believe. However, if I’m wrong, and your son really saved your life after you passed out, this is that much more impressive!

    Reply
  7. BusyDad
    BusyDad says:

    You do realize that by killing this butterfly, you have forever altered the future now, right? There will be flying cars and we will all wear our shirts backwards and apes will be our rulers.

    Reply
    • Chris
      Chris says:

      Well, first of all, let me say that I am honored to have you on my little space, I have been following you for awhile and you are one of my favorite (Dad) bloggers! Second, I was sort of thinking of the flying cars when we did it, so I actually hope that’s what happens, haha!

      Reply

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  1. […] We go to the dollar store, buy some $1 foam swords and other hunting gear, then hit the forest and hunt for bears and dragons. (Note: If you see a real bear, […]

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