No Words.

I hadn’t planned on writing anything. I figured there was enough of it on TV and the internet, that adding in my thoughts and feelings would be inconsequential and unnecessary. Thing is, I can’t stop thinking about it, so I’m going to write it down anyway. I don’t need anyone to read this or comment on it, I just need to get it off my chest, for myself.

Something my wife will attest to, is that I am not someone who puts his emotions out on display, to a fault in most cases. I’m not a heartless monster by any means; I just choose to keep my feelings to myself a lot of the time, instead of burdening others with them.

After what has happened in China and Connecticut this week, I’m finding it hard to fight off the emotions that are swirling around in my mind. We’re talking about young children here. Babies even. How do you get those thoughts out of your head and carry on with your day to day life?

I feel so selfish to still be tearing up over it because it’s not like I lost anything in either one of those incidents. I’m not one of the parents of those young children, who have to learn to deal with that kind of loss. I don’t have to explain to my child why a maniac tried to hurt them and their friends and teachers. Yet anytime I see the images of the injured or the names of the children or the heroic teachers, I break out in tears and feel an overwhelming amount of sadness. They were only babies. They had whole lives to fulfill.

I understand the circle of life but this certainly doesn’t seem like it should be a part of it. Nobody should have to go through the pain and suffering these families are going to have to deal with in the months and years to come. I’m so sorry to everyone affected. I’m sorry that there is nothing I can do to help. There are no words or dollar amounts that are going to fix anything that has happened, although I will happily offer both.

I don’t know what it’s going to take to make this type of tragedy stop. Whether it’s stricter gun laws, better care for the mentally ill, less violent television or some other explanation, a discussion needs to take place, but that’s not why I’m writing this. I just hope that we are able to figure it out before it happens again, as it always seems to.

I don’t even know how to end this because there’s so much more I want to say. I just really want to express my sincere condolences to all the families affected by these tragedies and to let them know that they are in my thoughts and in my heart. There is a change that needs to happen but that change will not be a madman changing the way I view my world. I still have hope that good will prevail.

Life is too short. Be kind to each other. Help those in need. Say “I Love You”, often.

4 replies
  1. The Maven
    The Maven says:

    You know, I felt the same way. I wasn’t going to blog about it, but I had to because that’s what writers do. We get our feelings out through words on a page or a screen.

    And it’s okay that we’re crying. Of course we’re crying. It was a terrible, incomprehensible tragedy. We were all affected by the loss of so many innocent lives. We’re mourning for those families, for that community.

    Every voice helps. Every action helps. Every bit of support pouring in from the world will help Newtown heal. You don’t come back from losing a child, but I’m sure knowing you’re not alone in your grief is comforting.

    Take care. May this post be the start of your healing, as mine from last night was for me. ((((hugs))))

    Reply
  2. Roshan
    Roshan says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, Chris. I don’t have much to add to The Maven’s comments above since she responded so eloquently…but I did want to let you know that I appreciated your post. Take care, Roshan

    Reply
  3. Crys Wiltshire
    Crys Wiltshire says:

    Well written Chris. I hesitated to write something, but ultimately did. I felt the need to point out in the post that it’s really not about me/us, tucked away in our quiet Canadian town, but it still affects us as parents and humans. I felt an urge to write about the emotions it made me feel as a mother and how I held my daughter much closer that night. I let her stay up longer, cuddling & just being together. This whole thing has been so unbearably heartbreaking. I can’t begin to imagine what it is like for those parents.

    Reply

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  1. [...] I have felt as emotionally drained as I do right now. Between family illnesses, lack of sleep and what happened in Connecticut last week, I haven’t been able to find a lot of room for happy thoughts. Just as I began to [...]

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