The Time I Had To Explain That I Am Not A Mommy Blogger

It’s no secret, to those who know me that I have worked very hard to build my blog and to connect with as many bloggers as possible in my 8 months in this space. I have built some great relationships with bloggers, brands and PR folks alike. It is also not a secret that I am a Dad. In fact, to even get to my site, you probably have to type the word Dad and even if you clicked a link, the words “Canadian DAD” will slap you right in your beautiful faces!

In the last week, I have had a number of instances where I was left shaking my head at email pitches I have received. One was for a post about helping clueless Dad’s and another addressing me as a Mom. I won’t even get started on the clueless Dad email because I talk about that a lot and it can wait. Not knowing the difference between a Mom and Dad though? That one is just lazy, and a complete waste of both of our time.

My dilemma in writing about this is that I have made a commitment to myself and to my readers, that I will be an advocate for social good. That includes pointing out when great things happen that you would normally just smile about; like when a celebrity calls your house to wish you a Happy Birthday or when you get service that is way above and beyond what you would normally expect.

That commitment, however, has to be a two way street. I understand the power that comes with a growing online presence. People start to follow you; they listen to what you say and whether you like/believe it or not, you have some influence. I try not to abuse this newfound influence by spewing venom at every “poor service” experience I have and I always try to keep a healthy amount of good in my ledger. That being said, with the number of lazy, off-putting PR pitches I have received lately, I think it’s time to start talking about it.

When you are lazy in your job, especially in PR, you don’t just come off as a lazy worker, you make the rest of your industry look the same way. It’s no different than how, when a blogger does something unsavory, it paints bloggers in a negative light. I have worked with some great PR agencies that I know work very hard to build relationships with their clients, so when I get pitches like this, it honestly makes me want to just hit delete on the next few emails without even opening them.

Generalizing people as Moms in a mass mailing, that I didn’t even agree to, is not only insulting to Dads but also to all the great women bloggers who are not Moms. That’s one of my takeaways from my time at Blissdom Canada this past weekend as well. While I already knew that all women bloggers weren’t “Mommy” bloggers, it was nice to get a pulse from them on their disdain for being referred to as something they are clearly not.

All I’m asking is that you do a little research before hitting send on that generic, mass email. As far as I was aware, I am not a Mom and will most likely never be one. I want to connect with you, I really do. I love hearing the ping of a new email and I really like the ensuing conversation, when it’s a genuine interaction. Take some time to get to know me and you’ll see that I will invest the same amount and then some in return!

I realize that I am not the only one in this boat and I’m curious to know from my blogging friends, What is the craziest email you have received?

Cheers!

15 replies
  1. Nolie
    Nolie says:

    I love the pitches for clothes or toys for my daughters. Um hi I am the only female in the house. Just wait until they start telling you that you are being daft when you refuse to work with them. Some people need new jobs.

    Reply
    • Chris
      Chris says:

      I sent back a nice reminder to them to double check before sending out a mass mailing that implies we are all Moms. I was my polite self but I may have squeezed in some sarcasm… I don’t feel too bad about it.

      Reply
  2. Sharon
    Sharon says:

    I look at it in a different way. We’re all human, we all make mistakes. They probably have a boss breathing down their necks telling them to send the mass email. So instead of getting all offended because they dared to call me “mommy” or wanted to see if they could send me a slew of dolls when I have boys, I take it as an opportunity to build a relationship.

    I email them back and tell them that yes, I’m a mom – but I also write about these topics. Or I’ll tell them that my boys aren’t interested in dolls but if there’s ever an opportunity for Lego, we are so in. And sometimes I’ll even direct them to another “mommy” who might be interested. Those emails have netted me more opportunities than I can count. Much more than complaining about a mass email 🙂

    Reply
    • Chris
      Chris says:

      Thanks for the feedback, Sharon! I hate that this is our first interaction because I am normally very level headed about things and I don’t want you to have a skewed opinion of who I am. I think had it not been the 4th time this week that something like this had happened, I would have been less inclined to write about it. I do agree about the building a relationship out of an awkward situation part and have been successful at this as well.

      Had it been a blanket email without my name in it, I would have had a totally different opinion on it. I just don’t like the idea of portraying yourself as someone who follows when they have no idea who you are. I am still learning the way of the blogger and really appreciate your feedback!

      Reply
      • Sharon
        Sharon says:

        Meh. I think we tend to have an over-inflated view of who we are. I can’t even tell you the number of so-called “bad” pitches I receive in a day. But I will tell you that I’ve never gotten an opportunity from complaining about it. When they send out a blanket email, think of it as an opportunity to tell them who you are. There was an email a few weeks back where I saw a bunch of tweets b/c they had clearly used a mail merge and forgot to put in the names. While everyone else was complaining, I wrote them back. Guess who’s working with them on something different now.

        You’re not going to stop how PR pitches are sent – people have been complaining about this for years. What you can do is change how you view them and react to them.

        Reply
        • Chris
          Chris says:

          Thanks again, in a full circle way, I learned more by posting this than I would have by not doing it. I think I’ll just stick to the good stuff from now on, that’s where I am most comfortable.

          Reply
  3. Alyssa
    Alyssa says:

    Forgetting to fill in a form:

    “Dear (insert name)” “Dear 0” “Dear (group)” ahem. Dear edit before you send so you at least have a proper salutation 😉 I don’t mind “mommy blogger” as much but I prefer a pr actually look at my about me page and notice I do have a first name! I can imagine waking up to “dear daddy blogger” yet I’m a woman 😉 I know what your saying. Research and edit before sending a pitch definitely avoids embarrassment all around!

    Great seeing you (even briefly) at sccto 🙂 cheers!

    Reply
    • Chris
      Chris says:

      Alyssa, it was great to meet you and I wish that I had had more time to mingle at the conference but it was all so hectic for me as a first timer that I completely speed bombed the whole thing! Being Ottawans, I’m sure we’ll cross paths again at some point 😀

      Reply
  4. Phil
    Phil says:

    I would probably assume that any pitch sent out in mass email form just wants you pay you cents to send out pitches in mass email form. I agree with “lazy,” but would also include them in the groups “sloppy” and “spammy.”

    Heck, I get offended when we get stuff like this from my kids’ schools, labeled to “Mom” when I’m the one picking them up and dropping them off 97% of the time.

    Reply
  5. Gerry
    Gerry says:

    Lazy people indeed! I’ve been accused of being a HE many times because my nickname since it is more commonly a guy’s nickname. So I hear ya!

    Reply
  6. Wendy
    Wendy says:

    It only takes less than 30 seconds to check out your twitter profile or even your site to see that you’re obviously not a mom. One size does not fit all when it comes to the generic pitches. I feel agencies would get better traction if they put more time & effort into their pitches. As much as I appreciate the opportunities I get, simple things like personalizing the email, proper spelling, good fit, etc. goes a long way to getting the relationship off to a good start.

    BTW, It was great meeting you Sunday at Blissdom.

    Reply

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