Dad Blogs Exposed! ~ The Daddy Complex

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This week, I’m excited to welcome the creator of the mega viral “Calm The F*ck Down” parenting method, The Daddy Complex master and very funny, Mr. David Vienna! I had the chance to meet David in Houston last January for the Dad 2.0 Summit and he is exactly as he is on his site, which is a great thing. I had the chance to ask him a few questions about his blog and fatherhood and hope you enjoy what he had to say.

CD: Why did you start blogging?

David: To maintain my sanity. I was a work-at-home dad and had what psychologists would probably classify as a nervous breakdown about twice a week. Both my dad and my wife suggested I start the blog. I was so frazzled, they could’ve told me to start building a rocket ship and I’d have done it.

CD: How would you describe your blogging style?

David: Like scat. Both the jazz singing style and the poo style.

CD: What has been your biggest challenge as a father?

David: Convincing my kids they need to find jobs. I tried explaining the value of a hard day’s work, but they just want to play with Legos, the freeloaders.

CD: What one piece of advice would you give to a new Dad?

David: Designate a place in your home to be your “Weeping Area.” Closets work well, as does the cupboard under the kitchen sink.

CD: Your post about the “CTFD” parenting method went mega viral. Can you talk a little about what that was like and what, if anything, came from that exposure?

David: It was cray-cray, man. So many people have — and still do — find use for it. There’s even a clinic in Michigan that offers classes in how to implement the CTFD Method. I like that it’s become a sort of battle cry for parents. And the exposure/success of the post opened a bunch of doors. I got a book deal, appeared on the Today show (not to talk about CTFD, but that’s how I ended up on their radar) and my name keeps getting mentioned alongside Amy Chua. I guess I’m like the anti-Tiger Mother.

CD: What is your social media weapon of choice and why?

David: Tumblr. Because my site is a Tumblr blog and the built-in community there helped me hone my blogging voice and achieve a shit-load of goals. There’s a huge parenting contingent there and we all support each other. Plus, we have cat gifs.

CD: How has blogging affected your life?

David: It gave me the audience and interaction I previously tried to achieve with my epic monkey vs. robot rock opera.

Thanks a million to David for taking the time to answer my questions! You can check him out on twitter @TheDaddyComplex or at The Daddy Complex blog.

A Gift From David at Dad 2.0 Summit. Chewbacca vs. Iron Man

A Gift From David at Dad 2.0 Summit. Chewbacca vs. Iron Man

The Power Hour That Changed My Life ~ #BlissDomCA

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When I woke up this morning, I stumbled out of bed, packed my lunch and mindlessly drove to my place of business. As I sat at my desk, staring at my screen the way I usually do on Monday morning, I was hit with the harsh realization that the moments I had been accustomed to experiencing throughout the weekend were now quickly fading into memories. There were no bright eyed coffee enthusiasts shouting “Good Morning”, ready to be inspired, all on only three hours sleep; nor was breakfast set up, waiting to be picked apart and then refilled as many times as was needed.

It was my second trip to Blissdom Canada but things feel monumentally different this time around. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to go through the roller coaster of emotions that I felt throughout my time in Mississauga and I still feel like it is going to take some time to realize the full impact this conference will have on my life.

At the very top of my list was having the opportunity to achieve a personal triumph when I took to the stage for the Power Hour. If we’re being completely honest, I only applied for it because I assumed that with all the talented writers and speakers out there, I would never get picked. I was trying to cheat fear by being able to say that I at least put myself out there and it backfired beautifully. As the big day crept closer and the anxiety grew, I started playing mind games with myself. You know that Sesame Street skit, “One of these things just doesn’t belong here”? I glared at the names on the Power Hour board, Sharon DeVellis, Elan Morgan, Joe Boughner, Shannon Fisher and Erica Ehm, all established in their own way, and I began to fabricate all the excuses I could give to get out of it, when something funny happened. First, Elan told me everything would be alright, then Joe sent me a very kind letter of encouragement, which was followed by Erica being very kind and warm upon seeing me, closed out by amazing conversations with Shannon and Sharon. The next thing I knew I was up there, in front of everybody, sharing a story so personal that I was afraid I wouldn’t even get through it. And, nobody booed. I somehow managed to harness that fear and instead let my passion shine through, and it felt damn good.

In the hours that followed, I received so many encouraging tweets, messages and congratulations that, for a while, I lost complete control of my own emotions. It was surreal and overwhelming to hear a few people say that my presentation had actually made a difference in their lives. That short, seven minute presentation and the series of events that followed, have completely changed me, for the better, of course. I walked on to that stage, unconfident, unsure of my place in the group and scared as I’ve ever been; and I walked off feeling as though I truly deserved to be there.

So, as I sit here at my desk, still staring blankly at the screen, I’m hit with the harsh realization that the moments I had been accustomed to experiencing throughout the weekend were now quickly fading into memories. But, they are memories of the time I pushed through the fear and accomplished something that will inspire me to keep reaching as high I want to climb, for the rest of my life.

BlissDom Power Hour

The Curious Case of Missing Buttons

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All in all, I probably own about five pairs of pants that I actually wear. Six, if you count pajamas. Yeah, I know, bearing my soul today and opening the doors of my closet for all to see. A “man behind the man” glimpse, if you will. Anyhow, back to my pant collection; I know five pairs doesn’t sound like a lot but it gives me a solid five day outfit rotation for my day job, so I’m happy.

The reason we are taking about my pants today is that there has been a strange occurrence happening lately and I need your help in getting to the bottom of it. Out of my five pairs of pants, only two of them still have a button on them, which leads me to the question, “Where are all my buttons going?!”

I’ve created a list of possible scenarios and would love to hear your thoughts on the matter as well. Here’s what I think could have happened:

1. The Button Elves – Though I’ve never actually seen one of these guys, the legend says that they creep into your bedroom at night and steal your buttons. Traditionally known as shirt button thieves, you can’t discount the allure of a larger, more solid button.

2. Frosty the Snowman – Unfazed after being questioned by police about a stolen shipment of corn cob pipes, Frosty is now said to be stocking up on noses for the winter.

3. The Dryer – The “Dryer Stole My Button” is the new “Dog Ate My Homework” and I’m not really buying it. If only one button had gone missing this would be a more plausible answer, but three buttons? No way.

4. My Wife – That’s right, I said it! My wife runs a daycare, where buttons are like currency to a house filled with crafting kids and they never seem to run out of them. I’ve been playing it cool so far but I’m on to her!

That’s all I’ve got for leads so far and I’m hoping you all can help me figure out where all my pant buttons have gone. In other news, I have lost 8 pounds in two weeks and am now below 200lbs for the first time in over a year! With my pants fitting better, it sure would be nice to know why my buttons have all been disappearing…

Win a Dora The Explorer Prize Pack!

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In honour of the Dora Live show coming to Ottawa’s Centrepointe Theater this November, I am giving away a fun Dora the Explorer prize pack that includes a Dora doll and activity book, both pictures below. Before we get to that, here is some information about the show:

Dora is embarking on her most important mission yet in Nickelodeon’s Dora the Explorer Live! Search for the City of Lost Toys. Dora has lost her teddy bear, and the search is on to find him. With help from the audience, Boots, Map, Backpack, Diego and more, Dora uses her directional, counting, musical and language skills to successfully pass through the Number Pyramid and the Mixed-up Jungle to reach the City of Lost Toys. But watch out! You never know what that sneaky fox Swiper might be up to along the way! Visit, www.DoraLiveCanada.com for more information.

How To Enter:

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post, telling me who is your favourite Dora the Explorer character.

This contest is open to residents of Canada, excluding Quebec and closes at noon on October 9th. Winner has 48 Hrs to respond or a new winner will be chosen.

Dora Prize Pack

Dad Blogs Exposed! ~ Out With The Kids

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This week on Dad Blogs Exposed, I am talking to Jeff Bogle from the blog, Out With The Kids. I had the pleasure of meeting Jeff this past January in Houston for Dad Summit and immediately appreciated him for his sense of kindness. I have also been finding inspiration in his journey to live a healthier lifestyle and have even started my own regimen because of it. He is a great dude and I hope you enjoy his answers and his website!

CD: Why did you start blogging?

Jeff: I began blogging in the late 18th century, to document the early stage development of our fair nation to your south, but didn’t backup anything (Carbonite wouldn’t be invented for centuries, unfortunately) so there’s no record of any of those dazzling quill-typed blog entries. My modern day blog, Out With The Kids, was launched in May of 2006, when my oldest was still a toddler, to document the early-stage development of her and also myself as a first time parent. The idea was to document the ways in which my wife and I were parenting on the edge of the mainstream. I wasn’t going for pompous, but fear I achieved it often. I didn’t know what I was doing, didn’t have a content strategy or SEO keyword plan to attract readers – still don’t, really. I simply felt and continue to feel a need to put things down, to record them without having to ever read back my gnarly handwriting.

CD: What can people expect from your blog? Do you have a specific goal or do you write whatever you feel?

Jeff: Readers can expect to discover a number of new media goodies — music, books, apps and more — that will hopefully assist them in elongating and enhancing childhood for their kids, and parenting/life reflections that are a mixed bag of wistful, funny, and heartbreaking. In any given week, a reader might cry, laugh, find their kid’s new favorite song and discover a killer new recipe for tomorrow night’s dinner.

CD: What has been your biggest challenge as a father?

Jeff: Managing my perfectionist tendencies and expectations. I struggle, less now than before, but still, with remembering that my children are just that, and that despite being bright, thoughtful, and cultured, they are young kids…young kids who I’m not in a rush to have grow up. Because they, and I, only get one shot to enjoy their childhood.

CD: What one piece of advice can you give to a new Dad?

Jeff: To share your passions with your children, without force feeding them, but not ever at the expense of their right to experience a pure, innocent and long childhood. Don’t rush them or yourself as a parent through it! So if you love Pulp Fiction, like hard core love it, maybe give it a few more years, or decades, before you sit down aside your boy to watch it together. That’s an extreme example, but the point remains: children deserve experiences and media that honor their viewpoint and has context that doesn’t force them to grow up faster than they want to.

CD: Do you have any long term goals for your site?

Jeff: On one hand, I’d like OWTK to become the Rolling Stone Magazine of kid culture, but that would involve covering media and characters that disgust me and seem to operate with a mission to soil childhood for both my kids and me, retroactively. My only real goal is to get better at storytelling, at finding a narrative thread in everything we see and do together as a family. And to get one of my children’s books published someday!

CD: What is your social media weapon of choice and why?

Jeff: I’ve grown to love Instagram the most mainly because it feels the most artistic or at least the platform with the most artistic possibilities, without being spammy (Twitter) or overtly sexual (Vine). I’ve got a bit of a filter fetish.

CD: How has blogging affected your life?

Jeff: Since starting the blog, I now process every occurrence through a narrative viewfinder. I see stories where before I saw only facts and dates and happenings. Oh, and I also got to race a Ferrari in Las Vegas thanks to this crazy profession. The saying ‘Only in America’ has seemingly been replaced with ‘Only on the Internet!’

Huge thanks to Jeff for taking the time out of his schedule to answer the questions! Please feel free to leave a comment for Jeff and ask him any other questions you think I missed. See you next week with a new Dad and a new Blog!

The ER Doctor That Saved My Family and My Life

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I don’t even remember his name, only the conversation we had in the white walled emergency room.

Dr: “You’ve been to the emerg a lot lately. What is it you think you have?”
Me: “I’ve been researching my latest symptoms and they closely resemble MS.”
Dr: “You don’t have MS. In fact, you don’t have anything that we can see and you’ve had almost every test we can give you.”
Me: “Well, something’s wrong with me!”
Dr: “Have you ever talked to a psychiatrist?”

This moment was my weakest point as a man. I sat in that emergency room, head in my hands, crying, reflecting on everything I had been through and the strain I had put on my family and every aspect of my life. The doctor was extremely respectful of my breakdown and referred me to the hospital’s psychiatry ward. This conversation and subsequent breakdown are the things that changed my life forever, in the best possible way.

I had been to the emergency room about 8 times that year and I had managed to keep the visits a secret from almost everyone. The routine was usually the same, I’d arrive at work, feel a small pain which I would turn into the absolute worst case scenario, panic my way to the emergency room, then wait 6 hours at the hospital only to be told I was fine and be home in time for dinner with nobody suspecting a thing. I kept it from everyone, including my wife, because I was embarrassed of how I was feeling and didn’t want to portray weakness in front of her or my newborn son.

I can only guess the strain I was putting on my wife during this time. I say ‘guess’ because when you are anxious and depressed, the only thing you think about is yourself and how lonely it is to be you. I barely got out of bed and was the opposite of a good father for most of the first year of my son’s life. The fact that my wife even stayed with me is a testament to her sense of love and forgiveness, and I’m grateful to have a second chance.

I had been to about 10 doctors in that year and while I received excellent treatment at every stop, none of them had suggested that it may be a mental issue until this one. As I sat in the waiting room for my first appointment with the psychiatrist, I remember telling myself over and over again, “You are not crazy, you are not crazy”, and as I looked around the room, I realized that the people there were just like me. I didn’t see any of the characters from “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” and neither were Annie Wilkes, Tyler Durden or Hannibal Lecter. Everyone there was living a regular, every day life just like I was and that instantly put me at ease.

Over the next few months, I happily attended all of my sessions and even started to make friends with my waiting room mates. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had dreamt it out to be and getting the help I needed at that moment is exactly what I needed to get my life back on track. This is sort of the Coles Notes version of my battle with anxiety but I thought it was important to share, especially for those who are suffering and don’t think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am just one story and I know there are cases far worse than mine, but I faced it head on and came out the other side a better person.

I will probably never see that doctor again but the conversation he initiated that day saved my family and quite possibly my life. If any of what I am writing sounds familiar, please feel free to message me to ask questions and I would be happy to be an ear for you.

Coffee With A WWE Superstar!

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Thanks to the Canadian Tire Centre and the WWE, I had the very cool opportunity of sitting down with WWE Superstar, Damien Sandow, to talk about his life as a wrestler. To prepare for the interview, I listened to a bunch of Mr. Sandow’s radio interviews. I noticed that he was frequently being interviewed as his wrestling character as opposed to the man behind the wrestler and while it was entertaining, I was more interested in what his life was like outside the ring.

I have to say that I had no idea what to expect from “Mr. Money In The Bank”, but he was an amazing person and a pleasure to interview. With all the radio, TV and PPV stuff these guys do, it would have been easy for him to brush off a local blogger, but both Sandow and the WWE were extremely respectful and turned this life long WWE fan into an even bigger follower. Of note, Mr. Sandow also took time to record some cool video messages for a few kids that had submitted questions to me.

The interview is posted below and I just wanted to give a shout out to Damien’s charity of choice, Kosair.Org, who protect the health and well-being of children by providing financial support for clinical services, research, pediatric healthcare education, and child advocacy. I hope you enjoy the interview as much as I had conducting it!

Thanks again to the WWE, Canadian Tire Centre and Damien Sandow for helping create an amazing experience.

Who Knew Apple Picking Could Be This Fun?

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We packed up the kids last weekend for our annual apple picking trip to Mountain Orchards. For whatever reason, I always seem to forget how much fun this excursion is for the whole family but am quickly reminded upon arrival each year. I think it’s because the thought of picking apples off trees isn’t all that exciting, but when you add in the hay pit, park, giant mound of dirt, flea market, mini donuts, tractor rides and corn mazes, you have the makings of a perfect day!

My other favourite thing about the day trip is that it allows me to work on my photography skills and that is the underlying purpose of this post today. I don’t have a great camera but someone once told me that the photographer is far more important than the camera, so I’ll just believe that. Anyway, here are some of our adventures from our day at Mountain Orchards!

A Rare Smile While Looking At The Camera!

A Rare Smile While Looking At The Camera!

His Favourite Part!

His Favourite Part!

Warning, People With Allergies. This Is A Lot Of Hay!

Warning, People With Allergies. This Is A Lot Of Hay!

Cuteness Overload!

Cuteness Overload!

Giant Mound Of Dirt, As Promised!

Giant Mound Of Dirt, As Promised!

Stop That Apple Thief!!!

Stop That Apple Thief!!!

Obligatory Family Selfie

Obligatory Family Selfie

Bottom line is that we had a great time and can’t wait to find something to do with all the apples we picked! I’m seeing pie in my future!

Children Who Inspire ~ The Charity Group

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I had so much fun with my last “Children Who Inspire” interview that I’ve decided to make it a recurring feature on the blog. I find it fascinating and inspiring to see how many children there are out there who are taking an active interest in making the world a better place, and I think it’s important to share their stories. This growing group of young change agents give me hope for the future and more importantly, inpsire me to want to make a difference with my actions.

I was excited to have the opportunity to interview a Canadian duo who are doing their part to give back. Jasmine (10) & Grace (8) are the co-founders of a local club called, The Charity Group. If that name sounds familiar, it’s because I had previously featured The Charity Group in one of my early posts, so I was excited to get a chance to see what they were all about. Here are their answers to my questions, along with some commentary from one of the parents.

CD: What made you want to start “The Charity Group”?

Jasmine – I had been collecting funds or food for my birthday for several years (i.e. 7th birthday – money was collected for CHEO; 8th birthday – money collected for Japanese Earthquake Relief; 9th birthday – collected food for Kanata Food Bank) with some success. One day I asked my dad how to do more. He mentioned that there were groups of people that raised money for charities and that maybe a way to raise or do more. I thought this sounded like a good idea and began typing a letter to start my own Group. I asked Grace to help out and we went from there.

Grace – It sounded like a good idea. Helping the neighbourhood and community is fun.

CD: How did you get others to sign up?

We made a sign up sheet with some cool visuals. We went around to specific kids in the neighbourhood (aged 5 to 12; and they had to be able to walk to our houses). We asked these kids to join; Grace and Jasmine each memorized a specific portion of their recruitment speech. Most kids were eager to participate and the age range expanded as other neighbourhood kids asked to be involved. Parents were also asked/encouraged to join as support and to assist in harnessing the kids’ energy.

CD: What has been your favourite experience with it so far?

The Cancer Carnival of 2012, by far. It was fun, we raised the most money of all our events, there were lots of activities, we met new kids and we had fun hanging with the other Charity Group members.

CD: What is next for your group?

We are planning on building bird houses/feeders for the Wild Bird Centre.
We have a Christmas Show to be done at a local Senior’s home for this holiday season.
We are designing a Hallowe’en Safety Brochure – that will be on the blog; and handed out to the neighbourhood.

CD: What advice can your give to other kids who want to start a similar project in their school/neighbourhood?

For a neighbourhood group:
a. Find like-minded people to help out.
b. Go out to recruit from the neighbourhood and ask your target group if they want to join.
c. Be ready for kids/people to say “No”.
d. Start with small projects and local, which can be very visible and easy to do- like cleaning the park
e. As you get momentum with finishing your initial, smaller, local projects, you may begin to “Think Big”. At this time, you will need to involve parents as support and to assist in logistics.
f. Be mindful of the school year – it is easier to get together in the summer, because there are less activities being done by group members. During school time, sports, dance, music, tutoring, other lessons, tournaments, competitions, family time may take away from when meetings or events can be held. Not everyone may be able to do or go to everything.
g. Send out communication to the group regularly (i.e. minutes from last meeting; follow up from ideas discussed). Be sure to include parent emails to this communique.

CD: What are your long and/or short term goals with your philanthropy?

Short Term
Keep on using birthdays to raise awareness of charities or events
Do annual cleaning of the neighbourhood play areas
Explore how to interact with community more (hospital visits or senior home visits).
Explore technology – use of blog, Youtube, making a video.

Long Term (5-10 years)
The girls were quite struck about what they may be doing when they were 16-19 years old! They both began thinking of jobs and or school.
The Charity Group may still be going – the hope is that younger kids would be continuing the torch – maybe two portions, an older and a younger group membership?
Exploring other options of doing more things outside of the Charity Group – like volunteering at a shelter.
Using work experience to spread the word – doing something with part-time work?
Continue to be involved with the neighbourhood, but looking to expand impact.

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I want to say a huge thank you to the girls for taking the time to answer all my questions and want them to know that I am inspired by what they are doing. My hope in putting this feature together is that it will inspire others to get their kids involved in making their community a better place to live. Great work, girls!!

Dad Blogs Exposed! ~ Always Home And Uncool

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This week on Dad Blogs Exposed, I had the chance to talk with Kevin McKeever from the blog, Always Home and Uncool. Kevin’s stylings can also be found over at Dadcentric. I had the opportunity to meet and share a stage with Kevin at this year’s Dad 2.0 Summit in Houston, Texas and was once again blown away by the kindness of a stranger. Kevin is effortlessly funny, or at least it seems effortless, and I’m glad to now call him a friend. Unless he takes the effortless thing the wrong way, in which case he was a fine “former” friend.

CD: Why did you start blogging?

KM: After being laid off from my job, I had to do something to prove to my wife that I didn’t spend all day at home surfing the Internet for revealing photos of Kari Byron from “Mythbusters.”

That and, after not writing regularly for six months for the first time in 20-odd years when I was a reporter or corporate communicator, I just felt the need to start putting something into words again for my own sanity’s sake.

CD: What can people expect from your blog? Do you have a specific goal or do you write whatever you feel?

KM: I mostly tell tales about my goofy self — as a dad, as a guy, as a man befuddled by the world around him. Sometimes I have a fleeting celebrity encounter, sometimes I shed a tear or two, but mostly it’s about me trying to make sense of my wife, kids and dog.

CD: What has been your biggest challenge as a father?

KM: Avoiding the ol’ “well, back in my day …” routine with my kids. Civilization advances and changes, and you can’t live in your past no matter how comfortable it may be. I try to adapt and grow with my kids not because I want to be the cool, hip dad but because I want to stay involved in their world. Nevertheless, I never bothered figuring out all that Pokemon stuff when my boy was young. What the heck was that about?

CD: What one piece of advice can you give to a new Dad?

KM: I’ll give you two.

a) Don’t panic. If you panic, all is lost. Keep your wits about you and you’ll survive it.
b) Don’t listen to me.

CD: Do you have any long term goals for your site?

KM: Dude, I don’t even have plans for lunch. Speaking of which – Hooters?

CD: What is your social media weapon of choice and why?

KM: I’m on Facebook because that where I seem to best be able to keep up with the people I care about. I have Google+ account which I’m starting to use some, and Instagram is nice, but I tend to post all that stuff on FB now that it’s integrated. Pinterest? No interest, but that’s me. Your mileage may vary.

CD: How has blogging affected your life?

KM: I’ve meet some truly great and generous people, online and IRL, through blogging. The support my family has received from complete strangers and Internet-only acquaintances whenever we have sought help to raise awareness or money to support research into Juvenile Myositis, a rare autoimmune disease my daughter has had since age 2, has been heartwarming and, frankly, unbelievable.

Huge thanks to Kevin for taking time out of his busy schedule to answer the questions. I hope you’ll take some time to check out his site and say hi for me. See you next week!