The Time I Decided Not To Be Unhealthy Anymore

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I have always been an athletic person. I played hockey and fastball at high enough levels to consider myself an athlete and assumed that I would be playing these sports well into my later years, as my father had. Life, it would seem, had different plans for me though. Six years removed from fastball and way too many years out of hockey and the only sports I excel in these days are of the fantasy variety. In my last few years as a ball player, my nickname was “Gutsy”, and that had nothing to do with courage and everything to do with a widening mid section. Oh yeah, did I mention that I make jokes to cover for the fact that I am so badly out of shape that I am actually afraid to do physical activity for fear of dying? Yeah, there’s also that.

I dusted off the scale the other day, as I sometimes do, and stared blankly at the numbers 203.2 looking up at me. This isn’t how I had pictured my 30’s, not by a long shot. Most days, I am so exhausted by simple, every day tasks that I barely have the energy to get off the couch. What little energy I do have goes directly to my children, which is great, but that means things like my marriage, work and website have all suffered.

Well, all of that is about to change. I’m tired of saying I’m going to get healthy, only to find a plethora of reasons to quit the gym and go back to my old Dairy Queen eating, pop guzzling, eating a whole box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in one sitting (not proud of this one) ways. I have now been to the gym for 6 straight days and have started Weight Watchers point tracking in hopes of getting healthier and living longer for my family and myself. I am 100% committed to creating a better me and won’t stop until I get there.

As I write this, I am thinking of how good those sweet, sweet Dairy Queen Blizzard’s are and am in the process of chaining myself to my bed with Duct Tape over my mouth just in case the Blizzard somehow tries to dance it’s way in. It’s going to be a long journey and I’m going to bore you with every detail about it until you can’t take it anymore. I’ve joined a group of my fellow Dad bloggers as well, in an effort they are calling “Chuck The Chunk”, so it’ll be nice to feel like it is a team effort!

Now, I believe we were talking about Dairy Queen…..

Dad Blogs Exposed! ~ Puzzling Posts

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Welcome to this week’s edition of Dad Blogs Exposed! I had the pleasure of interviewing a fellow Canadian Dad and new friend of mine, Mike Reynolds, from the blog, Puzzling Posts. Mike and I were members of the same Movember team that crushed it last year and are working together again on this year’s campaign. He’s a great guy with a good heart and I’m excited to be able to share his story with you all.

CD: Why did you start blogging?

MR: I actually started blogging as a way to get myself writing more. Puzzling Posts originally had nothing to do with parenting, it was a spot I tried to write Stephen Leacock inspired stories on. For the first year I write a new story every day for 365 days and once that project ended I let the writing slide for a bit. then came kids and I found all kinds of new material. My girls inspire me to be creative and keep me young at heart which makes blog writing extremely fun.

CD: Can you talk about how you got started with writing children’s stories and maybe share a couple of your favourites?

MR: I’ve always loved writing stories but for the longest time I’d take weird news headlines and create some piece of fiction around them. Last Christmas my wife bought me a set of writing prompt cards that showed a bunch of robots. One night my oldest daughter and I came up with a story about one and the idea of bedtime stories was created. Since then, we’ve stopped needing the prompts and have written stories about giants who play hopscotch and soccer playing dinosaurs as well as many others.

One of the highlights of my story writing career came when I got feedback from an elementary school teacher who mentioned her class had read my stories and were inspired to write their own afterwards. That’s why I write–to inspire kids to be creative.

CD: What has been your biggest challenge as a father?

MR: I get most frustrated with myself when I find myself telling my kids “I’ll do things later.” Being tired is part of being a parent so I don’t feel bad for sometimes running out of gas, but I want to take advantage of every moment my kids want to play with me so I don’t regret it when down the line they don’t want to play with me any more. I also cry a lot and it’s hard to hide tears at work sometimes.

CD: What one piece of advice can you give to a new Dad?

MR: Treat every smile like it’s the last one you’ll ever see and then work as hard as you can to find the next one anyway. Also, the immense love you feel the first time you see your child somehow only grows over time, take advantage of every moment you get to sit down and talk to your kids. Building a relationship and an environment where they feel they can talk to you about anything is essential.

CD: Do you have any long term goals for your site?

MR: At this point I’m very happy writing our bedtime stories and the adventures we go on and I don’t think that part is anything I’d ever give up. It’s also the bedtime stories I’d like to grow seeing how they’re what sets me apart from a lot of other smaller sites like mine and because it’s also something attached to active parenting. If the stories weren’t being written with my children I’m not sure I’d be as interested in them finding a wider audience.

At the same time, I’d love for my blog to turn into a resource for parents to turn to when they’re looking for an honest review of some simple family activities. I like reviewing places and things for families because in addition to being able to help out other families, it gives me the chance to get my kids doing all kinds of fun things like visiting toy stores and pumpkin patches etc.

CD: What is your social media weapon of choice and why?

MR: Part of my day job is monitoring the many social media channels of my organization and with them Twitter is the best tool because of the quick interactions with our audiences. I assumed that would carry over to my own site and I certainly do love Twitter for Puzzling Posts but Facebook has been the far greater driver of traffic and engagement with others. I’d love to grow my Facebook page more so I can stop annoying my friends with my daily doses of Puzzling Posts.

CD: How has blogging affected your life?

MR: What I’ve liked about blogging is that it’s made me do things I normally wouldn’t do. I’m not a crafty person but I’ve started a feature on my site where me and the kids work on crafts we’ve found on Pinterest. There’s a good chance these Puzzling Pinterest Projects would never have come about were it not for the blog.

I’ve also always struggled with thinking I’m worse at parenting than others because sometimes (a lot of the time) I find parenting difficult. But it’s not me, it’s that parenting is just damn hard. I like sharing this with others just in case they’re somehow under the impression it’s just them struggling.

Really, blogging is my way of releasing creativity.

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That’s it for this week on Dad Blogs Exposed. Thanks to Mike for his time and I hope you’ll check back in next week for a new Dad and a new story.

Mike and Charlie and Leah

Win 4-100 Level Tickets To See WWE Smackdown in Ottawa on Sept 10th!

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The WWE is coming to town and I’ve got your hookup right here! I’m giving away 4-100 Level tickets to see WWE Smackdown Live at the Canadian Tire Centre in Ottawa, September 10th at 7pm.

WWE fans will witness a massive double main event as WWE Champion Randy Orton will put the title on the line against Daniel Bryan, while RVD will team-up with the ’World’s Largest Athlete”, The Big Show, and the ’World’s Strongest Man”, Mark Henry, in a six-man tag team match against The Shield.

Also in action:

World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio
Dolph Ziggler
The Wyatt Family
’Mr. Money in the Bank” Damien Sandow
and more!

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post, answering the following question: WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE WWE STAR (PAST OR PRESENT)?

Good Luck!! Contest closes Sunday, Sept 1st at noon.

Congrats to the winner, David Dickenson!!

Talking “Family Matters” With CJAD800

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I have been fortunate enough to have a monthly spot on the “Family Matters” segment with CJAD800’s Ric and Suzanne. This month I had the chance to talk about the tightrope that is children’s activities, as well as my recent experience where I had to explain why it’s okay for my son to want to do gymnastics. As always, I appreciate the opportunity to have my voice heard and always have a great time on the show. You can listen to my segment below.

What Is Your Favourite Subway Sub?

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My family are subaholics. You know those nights where you just don’t feel like cooking, or you have 40 minutes to eat and get the kids to soccer practice? Instead of hot dogs or PB&J, we always pop over to Subway for a quick bite. I mostly blame Happy Gilmore for this obsession. I also have to admit that I get unreasonably excited when I go to an event or party and see the Subway sandwich platters on the tables. Whatever, you like weird things too!

We all have our go-to subs and I’ve always wondered if other people were the same way. The kids split a meatball sub, my wife gets a tuna, extra mayo and I am a chicken bacon ranch kind of guy. Oh yeah, and cookies. Always, cookies. That said, I put the question to you guys…

What is your go-to sub from Subway?

Cheers!

Disclosure

Dad Blogs Exposed! ~ Fodder 4 Fathers

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Dad Blogs Exposed continues this week as I interview fellow Canadian, Adam Dolgin, from the blog, Fodder 4 Fathers. I recently had the opportunity to meet Adam at an event in Brampton and can tell you that he looks much better on the internet than he does in person. Of course, I keed! Here’s what Adam had to say about fatherhood and blogging.

CD: Why did you start blogging?

AD: Truth? I was bored. Not a lot to do when you’re sitting on the couch holding a sleeping 8-month-old around the dinner hour. Sure, you can watch the news, but that will only make you cynical. So I was playing on my Blackberry and thought I’d look in to this whole blog thing and I started one called “The Evil That You Know” (which is better than the evil that you don’t know). But I had no clue what I wanted to write about, so I wrote about what I knew, or was learning about, and that was Fatherhood. Changed the name to Fodder 4 Fathers a few weeks later and the rest is history.

CD: What can people expect from your blog? Do you have a specific goal or do you write whatever you feel?

AD: Honesty, open-mindedness, sarcasm, humor, some great links about parenting, and a lot of reality. Mostly, I like that people can’t say that I write the same thing day in and day out. I mix it up a lot and when people think I’m one way I’ll throw them for a loop by tackling something a totally different way than I had before. In the beginning I was planning out posts days ahead, now I just post about things that bother me, or I respond to things I’ve read, or ideas come to me out of thin air. Anything is fair game for me. And everything is good “Fodder” for conversation. Personally, I write best when I’m pissed off about something, and those are the posts my fans tend to like best too.

CD: What has been your biggest challenge as a father?

AD: I like the challenge of fatherhood, but it’s not really a challenge to me, yet. I think I’ve very well suited to parenting infants and toddlers. Diapers, screaming, tantrums and sleepless nights don’t bother me. I’m more afraid of the tween and teen years. I think everything my kids do now is funny, but when my kid comes home telling me she got kicked out of hockey for spearing some other girl, I’m going to be pretty pissed that I can’t get my deposit back. But I guess if there is a challenge for me being an active dad to a 3-year-old and an 8-month-old it’s getting both kids in to the car by myself when I want to go to McDonald’s on a Sunday morning while my wife sleeps in. Actually, the real problem is getting them and my coffee out of the car when we get back home.

CD: What one piece of advice can you give to a new Dad?

AD: “GO BACK!” Sorry, that was Ione Skye’s speech from Say Anything. Actually, my advice to new dads is pretty straight-forward – if you want to be an equal partner in the parenting of your child, do it. Don’t wait for someone to invite you to do it, just do it. Read a parenting book, change a diaper, feed a bottle, take the kid for a stroll by yourself and get a coffee. Take your rightful place in your child’s life. Often parenting is a battle of supremacy for many couples from the beginning, especially as moms want to take the lead with an infant, but don’t let her. Tell her you want to be an equal partner in raising your kids (if that’s what you want— and you should), and work out between the two of you how to split it up in a way that works to both of your strengths.

CD: Do you have any long term goals for your site?

AD: I went from a small fatherhood blog to a full-service website full of resources and advice for a wide variety of parenting issues for both fathers and mothers. Was it planned? Hell yes. My website is far more serious than my blog, or my Facebook presence for that matter, and I always wanted to turn it in to a place where parents could get real answers to real problems without any fluff. Webinars and online courses will be coming in the future and we’ll be writing a book or two as well. I have it all mapped out on a piece of paper that I keep in my sock drawer (and in a big file on my laptop desktop). But I’m always willing to change as the wind does. Who knows what the future really holds. All I know is right now I’m helping people talking about a subject that I love and making some extra pocket change off of it talking about products I liked regardless. It’s a good start. When all is said and done, I just want to help people find the information they actually need without having to read through a lot of BS. If I can do it and make a living, well, that’s would be nice too.

CD: What is your social media weapon of choice and why?

AD: Facebook! Hands down. I like how it allowed me to create a community and doesn’t force me to talk in a limited number of characters on each post. I like to talk, and sometimes I have a lot to say. That’s not to say I don’t have all my Facebook posts connected to my Twitter or LinkedIn feeds. I just use Facebook as my home base. It’s where I’ve been able to grow a very large following of faithful fans and make a lot of page friends who support me and help my little idea – that parents can talk as equals- grow.

CD: How has blogging affected your life?

AD: One day I was a guy with 30 people, all close friends and family, reading my stuff. Two years later I’m a guy who has 18,000 people reading my stuff and my name is all over the Internet linked to newspaper articles, National magazines, podcasts, corporate campaigns and hundreds of blog posts. The other day my website was ranking 2nd on Google under Websites for Fathers. And the coolest thing is people actually come to me for help with their parenting problems, not because I’m an expert, but because I have created a community of very smart, and very knowledgeable parents who have been there. They trust me to get them help, and to keep their secrets, and that’s something that I never expected when I started this whole thing. It really took on a life of its own and its taking me in directions I never thought I would go… but I’m that F4F guy now. That involved dad guy. That guy who talks about making the world a better place for our kids. And it’s a pretty cool thing to be. Sure, I’m also hated by a lot of people for speaking my mind on a myriad of topics, but at least it has people talking about them. Having a blog gave me a voice (an International one) I would have never had otherwise.

A big thanks to Adam for taking the time to answer all my questions. Don’t forget to stop by next Wednesday to read about another amazing Dad!

About F4F Page - Dad and DD

Children’s Activities: Finding a Balance

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We have been racking our brains over what activities to put the kids in this fall and it has proven to be an overwhelming task. On one hand, there are so many great programs out there that I know the kids will love, but the downside is that we risk burning them and ourselves out by trying to fit too much in.

I asked parents if they thought there was a perfect number of activities for children and, not surprisingly, I received a myriad of different answers. The suggestions touched on everything from stress and lack of family time, to cost and enjoyment. I have compiled a few of them here and would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below:

• I think parents put their kids in far too many these days. Just like we need ‘down time’ so do kids. School, is one thing, but having them in other activities three- five evenings a week, and on weekends is ridiculous. Give them some time to be kids and learn how to make their own fun, use their imaginations, play outside, and to just live a simple life. I think that one extra activity a week is MORE than enough.

• Depends on ages, homework level and family time. We did many more before they were in school. Now I find two a week for each of them is a good balance so they still have time for exercise, school work, chores, friends and family.

• We did a number of activities and the kids enjoyed them…but when we found THE ONE, we dropped everything else and now they LOVE it!

• I definitely think there is such a thing as too many. Kids need time to just “be”. To be quiet, to read, to use their imaginations, to play freely, etc.

• I believe there are too many. I have 2 children, one who is very active. We do dance and if she wants to do a sport she can. Now being in kindergarten, by the time you pick the kid up, do the activity, get home, do homework and eat dinner, its bedtime or past. And you still have to get the bath worked in. My sister has 3 all in school and all have 2 to 3 activities each. She is exhausted getting pulled every direction every night of the week. I think society has forgotten about good old family time!

• Last year we did 4 activities per kid and I found it extremely stressful! Now we are only doing 2 per kid and I feel a HUGE relief (not to mention money savings!)

• There’s def such a thing as too many! We do one or two per season – but keep it quiet-ish in the fall to help set up for a successful return to school season.

• The magic question. We’re waging this debate now at home. Just getting to the ages where the schedules start filling up. We always had them both in swimming and gymnastics, now she wants to play hockey, do we drop one? Fine line between fun and burning them and us out. Feel like we’re at the top of the activity roller coaster, just about to drop in….no turning back now.

As you can see, there are many different opinions on the subject and there are many variables, such as school, number of children and their ages. With the sheer number of programs offered these days, it’s easy to see how you could pick 3-4 activities for your child without even realizing how it is going to affect your family time schedule.

For us, the perfect balance seems to be two activities a week but I really like the idea of searching for the one that they love and then fostering that above the others. Another important point raised was the one regarding the stress and well being of the parent. It’s great to keep your kids active but if the cost is that you suffer at the rest of your parenting duties while trying to be a super parent, is it really worth it?

I want to hear your thoughts on this issue. What is your strategy when it comes to signing your child(ren) up for activities?

Throwback Thursday ~ The Hardy Boys

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Frank and Joe Hardy were staples in my young reading days. When I say “staples”, I mean they were the only books I read as a child. That probably had everything to do with the fact that my father seemed to own every single book that was ever published in the series. That, and the fact that I hated Shakespeare and refused to read his books in school. There’s also a direct correlation between that and my failing Grade 12 English twice…

I can’t remember much from the books themselves except that one of the books pictured above, “The House on the Cliff”, was my go-to Hardy Boys mystery. In an attempt to force these books on my kids someday, I have started scooping them up whenever I see them at garage sales. I can’t imagine they hold up to the likes of Iron Man and Game of Thrones but I am sure going to try to get them to at least try it out.

For some fun facts, you should check out their Wikipedia page. I learned a lot about the series that I hadn’t known about, such as the fact that beginning in 1959, the books were extensively revised, largely to eliminate racial stereotypes. Anyway, I loved these books and felt like throwing them some love today.

What were your go-to books as a child?

Dad Blogs Exposed! ~ DadScribe

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I’m happy to announce that Dad Blogs Exposed is back and with an all new format. I decided to go with a Q&A style approach to let the Dads tell you what they are all about in their own words and I’m excited to be able to share their stories with you.

This week I am happy to have had the chance to talk to Carter Gaddis from DadScribe. I met Carter at the Dad 2.0 Summit in Houston earlier this year and had the opportunity to share the stage with him as one of the conferences spotlight readers. In our brief interactions in Houston and the conversations that followed, I have learned that Carter is as genuine a person as they come and I feel lucky to have met him. Below are his answers to my questions about fatherhood and blogging.

CD – Why did you start blogging?

CG – I needed a creative outlet, so I started a blog. I spent 24 years covering sports for newspapers and websites, and the kind of writing I do professionally now (while steady and secure) doesn’t give me the same thrill. Plus, my sons are too young to know about that part of my life, so DadScribe originally was intended to be a platform for sharing those stories. It morphed into a catch-all for our experiences as a family, and my experiences, in particular, as a father. Every now and then I’ll remember a funny or poignant story from my sports writing days and share it, too.

CD – What can people expect from your blog? Do you have a specific topic with your writing or do you write whatever you feel?

CG – As I sort of touched on in the first answer, DadScribe has evolved. I suppose it remains a work in progress, but readers are as likely to find a photo essay about our family vacation to Cape Cod or trips to Disney World as they are a three- or four-paragraph prose poem about a sleepy Saturday morning. I have also branched out into sponsored content over the past few months, but I only accept assignments that are relevant to our family and can be used to tell good stories. I’ll also delve into politics and social issues every now and then if I feel compelled to speak out on a topic. Here’s one of those political posts, which happens to be my most-read post.

CD – What has been your biggest challenge as a father?

CG – Time is always my greatest challenge. I work a full-time job, as does my wife, which means our boys spend a lot of time in daycare, after-school care or summer camp. I envy parents who are able to work out of their homes, because even though I know those situations present their own challenges, at least they don’t have to spend two hours (or more) every day commuting to and from work. Those two hours away from my sons are the two toughest hours of the day for me. The math of it tears me up: 10 hours a week, 40+ hours a month, 500+ hours a year. That’s about three weeks every year I spend battling traffic, rather than being there with my sons. It’s tough, especially since I never had a commute for the first 24 years of my career. Then again, I was on the road for 100 or more days a year back then. So, it’s all relative.

CD – What one piece of advice can you give to a new Dad?

CG – My best advice for new dads is to ignore unsolicited advice.

CD – Do you have any long term goals for your site?

CG – I want to write well, continue to build on my modest readership, and see where it goes. I doubt I’ll ever become a “professional” blogger, at least not with DadScribe. For now, if I can tell stories that entertain people and make them think, I’ll be happy.

CD – What is your social media weapon of choice and why?

CG – I am most active on Facebook, because I like the interactivity and the universality of it. Most of my traffic comes from Facebook shares from my personal site, and most of the people I’m connected with online and in real life are active there, too. I’m also on Twitter @DadScribe, Instagram (dadscribe) and Pinterest, as well as Vine. Right now, though, Facebook remains king for me.

CD – How has blogging affected your life?

CG – I didn’t see it coming, but blogging has become much more than a hobby. It started when I was invited to read at Dad 2.0 Summit. That was an incredible honor and it opened my eyes to the depth and warmth of the parent blogging community. The weekend in Houston was transformative. Since then, I’ve had the good fortune to work with several brands and PR/marketing firms that really get it when it comes to parent blogger outreach. That has been a nice surprise, and it has made me want to do even more of that kind of work as time permits. Primarily, though, blogging has given me a group of friends that I never would’ve had otherwise. At my age, making new friends is not high on the agenda. This has been a good thing, though. A very good thing. The guys at www.dadcentric.com, many of whom I met in person for the first time in Houston, have been especially generous, as have my fellow Dad 2.0 Spotlight Bloggers (yourself, Jon Hockey Jesus, Kevin McKeever and Whit Honea). It’s deeper than that, though. I didn’t just find a “tribe,” as they tell you to do when you start out as a blogger. I discovered a weird, pixelated world populated by living, breathing parents who share many of my interests and help me see things from a different perspective. I want to keep that going and deepen those relationships, even if it means masking my inhibitions and utter lack of talent on a karaoke stage at the next Dad 2.0 in New Orleans — with or without a dancer’s pole.

I’d like to thank Carter for his time in answering all of the questions and I’ll be back next Wednesday with a new Dad to parade around for you!

Dadscribe 2

The New Hat

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My son got a new hat the other day. There was really nothing special about it. If anything, it looked like one of the many poorly crafted hats that I had enjoyed in my younger days.

“I picked it for Grampy in heaven, because he liked baseball” he said with a proud smile. I gently leaned in, kissed his forehead and told him that my Dad would have loved the hat. I did this calmly and in full control of my emotions, however, on the inside, my heart was racing, the tears building as my lungs gasped for air and I was suddenly flooded with a swell of memories from my days with my father.

What my son doesn’t know is that, over 6 years later, I do the same thing. It seems that almost everything reminds me of my father in some way or another. Ultimately, it’s the reason I stopped playing fastball, because that’s the thing we shared more than anything else and every time I took the field, after his death, the emotions became too overwhelming.

There’s also my unreasonable love for anything Sherlock Holmes and the sudden instinct to purchase old Hardy Boys books whenever I spot them. There are many other situations I can think of that, good or bad, have me instinctively doing something with no rhyme or reason attached to them. I’m no head doctor, so I’m not about to try to figure them all out but I’m assuming its normal behavior for anyone who has lost someone so close to them.

I thought about how I was distancing myself from the things we shared together instead of embracing them. It’s not that I wanted to forget, it’s just that I don’t want to be constantly reminded of it, if that makes any sense. It’s hard, man. Life has definitely become easier but those last days certainly haven’t vanished from my memory. That said, I didn’t want to return to that anxiety ridden “Why me” place that I spent so much time in. I want to be the story of the guy who fought through adversity and came out stronger on the other side, not the guy who caved to the memories and hurt his own family in the process.

You may look at my son’s new hat and just see a poorly made hat from any department store in the world, but to me, it’s a symbol that I’m doing better now. It taught me that life can go on, even with the heart break, and that my father’s memory will live on in my children even though they never had the chance to actually meet him.

I dusted off my ball cleats last weekend in hopes of making a comeback next season; because I know my Dad would have liked that.