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Ball Hockey Game

The Agony Of Defeat

The buzzer sounded to signal the end of the game, and our season, as it were. I looked down the bench at their 7 year old exhausted faces, some welling up with tears, and couldn’t help but feel terrible for them. They worked harder than I’ve ever seen them work and came up just a bit short. The first thing we tell kids after the trademark, “Have Fun”, is that if you work your hardest, good things will happen. It’s not easy to find out that sometimes your hardest isn’t quite enough to win.

It was also a strange experience for me because it was the first time I could feel my son’s disappointment after losing and I’ve been having trouble shaking it. No, seriously, I am putting on a strong face for my son and saying things like “you have to lose before you can truly appreciate winning” but inside I am heartbroken for these kids who left everything out on the floor. This is one of those times that I really miss my dad, who would have had plenty of these stories to share from my youth. I’ve always wondered what was going through his head as I sobbed quietly on the car ride home after being cut from a competitive team. I’m sure I’ll soon find out as my son enters the competitive age range.

As for my son, pride doesn’t begin to describe the way I feel about his growth this season. For the first half of the season he played passively, not really getting into the play, almost as if he were afraid of making a mistake. It wasn’t until a mid season tournament where we had a talk about determination that I noticed an almost instant change. The next game he came out tenacious, taking the ball and forcing the other team to make mistakes, which also resulted in his first goal of the year. After seeing the look of pride on his face as he returned to the bench, I knew there was no looking back. He even started adding “all new” before his name whenever he talked about his sports. Watching him work his hardest while also carrying a huge smile on his face has been my most rewarding time as his father up to this point.

Speaking of rewarding moments. In the true spirit of a Canadian hockey player, my son lost his tooth mid game last week, rinsed out the blood on the bench and got back out there for his next shift. I’m telling you, this kid is destined for great things 😀

Canadian Hockey Missing Teeth

I Love Daddy

Love Daddy

It’s not what I expected to see when I got home from work today. Normally I come in the house and the kids come running to the door screaming, “Daddy!!!” as they smother me with hugs. I love that about coming home from work. In fact, it’s my favourite part of any given week. Today was a little different for a number of reasons though.

Today, before any running hugs could occur, my 4 year old son excitedly instructed my wife to get the picture for Daddy. I’d seen this one play out before and it usually meant that he had coloured a picture for me and couldn’t wait for me to see it. I love his colourings by the way and I am always appreciative to receive them. Today’s was a different picture though and one that struck a new nerve that I hadn’t used before.

The picture shown above is his very first time writing the word “love” without asking for help. When he showed it to me, he said, “I made this for you Daddy, because I love you so much”. I managed to maintain my composure in front of him but inside I was a raging ball of mushy goop. Not just because of the sentiment but also because of how great he did in spelling out the words. I’m so proud of my little man and his determination in wanting to learn how to spell. I’m a very lucky Daddy.

Walking in the Shadows

Hockey Hallway

It was one of those situations where you don’t really think about what you are about to do until you actually do it. When I signed my son up for skating lessons, I did so under the pressured haze of our city’s crazy registration system. Other than being excited to share another of my favourite things with him, I hadn’t really considered all of the underlying factors.

When we arrived for his first lesson, something immediately struck me as odd. I hadn’t been to this rink in a while. It happened to be the same place where I got my start as a young skater and I had spent many very early mornings at this rink with my Dad as I traveled through the hockey ranks. The canteen here was also where I held my very first job and learned the art of slacking off.

The very first thing that hit me though, was the smell. It may sound ridiculous but anyone who has had any kind of positive experience inside a local hockey rink will tell you that it has a very specific smell. After a while you kind of forget it’s even there, but coming back to it after so many years I can only compare it to how people describe new car smell. I missed it and beamed a huge smile as the memories started flowing back.

We were told our dressing room number and made our way to the tunnel. I can remember the exact moment the next flash happened. Just as we passed the referee’s dressing room I got hit with a wave of memories all at once and actually had to stop for a minute to process it all. It’s no secret to anyone who reads this blog that I had a great father who passed away far too soon. And in that hallway I felt like I was remembering everything all at the same time. I remembered him carrying my bag down the hallway for me because it was too heavy or because I was too wimpy, tying my skates a little too tight for my liking and always buying me a slush puppie after the game. These are great memories and even though I miss my Dad every single day, I am blessed to have them.

As for my son’s skating experience, it was truly awesome. To see the determination in his eyes as he struggled to stay on his feet, reminded me of a young me, never giving up and always looking to do it better. I’d lost a little bit of that in the past few years but seeing it in my son reminded me how important having that determination is. I’m so proud to be his father and I’m lucky to have had the great parents I did growing up, because I know my children will benefit from that.

It’s pretty amazing how something so simple as skating lessons can bring on such a swell of emotions. In the end, I’m glad that it did because it reinforces how important it is as parents to create great memories for your kids. And as for the slush puppie, my son isn’t a huge fan yet, but we’ll get there.