Posts

Father Son Hockey

You’re Already A Good Dad

Life can get pretty repetitive, can’t it? Work, school, ballet, hockey, sleep, repeat. Entire weeks can go by without anything significant happening and I’ve made my peace with that as we can’t be all spontaneity all the time. Every now and then, however, something sneaks up on you and kicks you right upside the head. Such was the case this Monday as I drove my 7 year old son to power skating, as we have done every Monday for the past 3 months.

If you had told me that I was going to get misty eyed while driving to power skating on this day I would have probably laughed, given you an “okay, then” and rushed out the door with my son, you know, because we are literally always late somehow. My son has been more and more interested in hearing about my father lately and never seems to run out of questions about him. I have written about my father before for those who are new here but he passed away a few years ago on the same day that we found out we were pregnant with my son.

While he usually wants to know about my father as a coach and other sports related stories, on this day he shifted his focus to me and was curious about how I dealt with his passing. I know, heavy for a 7 year old, right? That was my initial thought as well but I always jump at the chance to both talk about my dad and bond with my son, so I happily answered his questions.

He asked if I was sad when my father died and how it all happened, which were easy answers. Then he asked me if I missed him and I froze a bit, not sure how much to get into it. I told him that I missed my dad everyday and explained that I was sad that he never got to meet my son and his sister, but mostly I missed him because I didn’t get to have him around to teach me how to do technical things like change a tire, or help me with coaching or help me learn to be a good dad. This conversation alone could have been enough to cause my emotions to go haywire but I held it together, until my son hit me with…

“But, you’re already a good dad.”

I’m guessing he didn’t realize how powerful it was to hear those words after the conversation we had just finished. I thanked him as I discreetly wiped a happy tear from eye and saw him light up knowing that he had made his dad smile. We sat in comfortable silence the rest of the way to hockey, both proud of our achievements for the day.

A Father’s Gift

There are a number of reasons why this short film hit me so hard and maybe someday I’ll get into them on here. In the meantime, enjoy this incredible story and the slew of messages it dishes out.

Canadian Spotlight – My Favourite Commercial of All-Time

Canadian Tire

I realize it’s a couple years old but this Canadian Tire commercial absolutely wrecks me every single time. I wish more brands would consider portraying fatherhood in this way because these guys have earned my business based solely on how powerful this commercial is.

Do you know why it’s so powerful? Because it’s real!! And real isn’t boring! I think of this commercial every time I take my kid to the outdoor rink. I think of my Dad, who spent many winters building a rink in our backyard so that we could have fun anytime we wanted. That is what real fathers do. We don’t play with our kids because they bribe us with chips (looking at you, Doritos). We do it because we love them and want them to be happy.

I want to say thank you to Canadian Tire for getting it right and I hope we will see more of this in the future. It’s easy to go for the cheap laugh but it’s far more beneficial to tell it like it is. I hope you like this one as much as I did.

In The Presence of a Man

I lost my little boy today…

Last thing I remember was singing him to sleep and holding him tightly, promising to never let him go. This morning however, he crossed through the gates to the other side and never looked back.

I don’t even feel like I got to say a proper goodbye. One minute he was there and the next, gone. I just stood there in stunned disbelief, remembering all the good times and thinking about all the things I still hadn’t taught him.

I definitely wasn’t ready for this moment, that much I know for sure. He certainly can’t be ready for the next stage of his life. What if he gets hurt? Who’s going to be there to make it better? What if he can’t get his lunch bag opened? He’ll starve to death! As I went through all the terrible scenarios in my head, all I kept repeating was “This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening!”

The reality is, it WAS happening and there was nothing I could do about it but stare in awe of the fine young man my wife and I had created and raised. My little boy had crossed the gates into manhood and I’ve never EVER been so proud in all my life!

Our walk to the school this morning was a long one for sure. My son had no idea the emotions that were swirling around the minds of my wife and I, but hopefully someday he will. That pit in your stomach as you feel like you are walking the longest plank, to imminent doom.

I hope that someday he will get to experience this moment with his own children. Maybe then he will understand that all the crying and stress from his parents wasn’t about sadness or anger, but a totally different emotion that overpowers all others.

Pride. Because that’s all I feel for him on this day as he embarks on his new journey.

I’m proud of him for having the courage to take that next step. I’m proud of him for making sure to hug his sister before he left us today. I’m proud of how he coloured in the lines at the teacher interview yesterday and how he counted to 30 and sang the alphabet song as if he’d been doing it his whole life. I’m proud of every accomplishment he has ever achieved and everything he still has left to do in his life.

Everyone told me I would love being a father, but no one warned me about the pride. Seriously, why did no one tell about this part? How am I supposed to be “Big, Tough Daddy” when I start to well up when my son beams about passing his first swimming class? If that’s the kind of thing that sets me off, what’s going to happen when he scores his first goal in hockey? (Okay, we haven’t discussed sports yet but c’mon, we are Canadian!)

The important lesson I learned today is that while my kids still have a lot of learning and growing to do, so do their Mommy and Daddy! I have to learn how to deal with all these emotions while continuing to maintain control of myself. All I wanted to do after we dropped him off today was to curl up in bed until it was time to go get him. I didn’t do that, but it was definitely on my mind.

As it turns out, he did just fine at his first day of school. As he says “I didn’t even cry, not once!” and “I even opened my snack box and now there’s nothing left in it!” with that big ol’ grin of his. My son is more than ready for school and I couldn’t be more proud of him for it.

I lost my little boy today…but I gained a wonderful young man!

 

A Simple Reason Why Being a Parent Is So Incredible

Laughter. Plain and Simple.

The ability to laugh and be goofy with my kids, for me, is by far the best thing about being a parent.

That’s about all I have to say about that. Shocking, I know! I’ll let my son say the rest.

Hope you have a great week!

Cheers!