The Trouble With French Boots

I am not a big, boot person. I mean, I like boots for keeping my feet dry in the rain, or for trudging through the long Canadian winters, but that’s about where it ends for me. My son, however, has recently become infatuated with boots. Or, should I say, he has become infatuated with the word boots, in it’s French form.

Boots, In French = Bottes, which, to a 5 year old boy = Butts, which, of course = HILARIOUSNESS!

Unfortunately, the hilariousness does not stop there, because the word Butts is so funny that it can supplant almost any word in the English language. In fact, in some cases, it can replace the lyrics of an entire song. I give you Exhibit A, which is my son’s updated version of the classic, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”.

Butts, Butts, Butts, Butts, Butts, Butts, TOOTS!
Butts, Butts, Butts, Butts, Butts, Butts, TOOTS!
Butts and Toots and Butts and Toots,
Toots and Butts and Butts and Toots.

There was more to it, butt you get the point. In closing, if you really want to teach your 5 year old how to speak proper French, you may want to avoid the boots for a while. Also, just as an advanced tip, you may want to avoid the French word for Seal, altogether, as that tends to open up a whole other bag of worms, or sealing seals, as it were.

Sh*t My Kids Say #5 – The Spanish Book

It’s no secret that Dora the Explorer has stolen a large chunk of the children’s television market. Part of the draw of the show for parents is that kids get a chance to dabble in a second language.

A three year old doesn’t understand that there are people who speak different languages and therefore doesn’t know the difference between English, French, Spanish and so on.

I recently brought my son to the Library to pick out some new books for circle time at the day care. I always let him pick out his own book too and he always selects a french book first.

I don’t know if the pictures are cooler in french or if it’s because they are the first books you pass by but he will always gravitate to the french section first.

I tried to explain to him a few weeks ago that, while Daddy does speak french, translating the book to English is a bit of a tough task and I asked him to select a book from the English section.

This is the conversation we had yesterday at the Library.

D: “Okay buddy, go ahead and pick out a book.”

L: “Okay Daddy!” **Looks for about 8 seconds** “Here’s a great book Daddy! It has a Boat!”

D: “Sure pal, whatever book you want”

L: **Sits at the table and opens it** “I think I need to find a different book Daddy.”

D: “Why? That one looks good and you love boats.”

L: “I think this one’s Spanish.”

D: “Nope, it’s in English. How do you even know what Spanish is?”

L: “Remember yesterday, you told me not to pick the Spanish books.” **Everything happened yesterday by the way**

D: “That was not yesterday, it was 2 weeks ago and I said don’t pick French books, not Spanish”

L: **Blank stare** “Okay Daddy. I’ll take this Spanish one with the boats!”

D: “Haha, okay pal.”

I’d like to note that I am not against my kids learning another language, I just think it’s more important for them to master the one they are going to use on a day to day basis first.

Plus I hate translating things, LOL!